Need for a short escape

Recent events in my life - new role at work, new choice in career change, new companion in personal life, new financial burden, etc. All these events have prompted me to a thought for a short escape from all the things in my word, and leave everything behind for a while.
I read this book “Eat, Pray, Love” two years ago and recently this book was filmed into a movie starring Julia Roberts. I watched the movie few weeks ago and all of a sudden the thought of travelling alone emerged to be a plan. And yes I have decided to pay a visit to Bali – sightseeing, relaxing Balinese massage, enjoying the sun with my long abandoned bikini, watching sunset alone at the beach, work-less and stress-less for a couple of day. Hmmmmm…… Bali, wait for me!

Teach me how to smile

She loves him, therefore she leaves him
He loves her, and so he let her go
They say separation is the will from an individual, and the coordination from two individuals

You used to say I make you smile
Honestly, you make me smile, too
As much as you smile at my smiling
And with you walking away from my life, and taking my smile away with you
I forgot how to smile, teach me how to smile

I thought I'm able to cope, but I failed tremendously
I thought I wouldn't have tears, but just the thought failed me almost instantaneously
I thought the love is not that deep, but the truth is often the toughest pain

Again, teach me how to smile, when the only thing I want to do is to cry

2 become 0

4 years
It comes to an end, but we are still friends.
I love the way it ends, no matter how faith issues came by for past few weeks.
Love is still there, but he has transformed from a lover to a family member.

4 weeks
I told myself to do the right thing, and I did.
But things just went wrong, so wrong; and uncontrollable, so out of control.
I'm in deep guilt and grieve; it was me, all me.

Piece of Crap

And yes, Serene Ting never thinks though her family name is ‘think’.

Just a little bit of self confession.
1) I take things too easily.
2) I procrastinate those damn things which do not interest me.
3) I’m lazy when it comes to thinking, i.e. I never use my brain.
4) I’m not a very loyal person, to everyone, everything.
5) I’m not a very responsible person.
6) I cry when I face problems.
7) I can’t handle stress.
8) I’m indecisive, all the time.
9) I have no sense of taste, in terms of everything.
10) I do not like to talk to people.

The great ambition to leave a legacy at my workplace is a total failure? And yes, I did it again! Oops 

Current vs Future

Current:
I'm pretty worry if I make this post overdone, as I'm also afraid to write anything (bad particularly) in this cyberspace, about my employer.
I'm stuck! Seriously. I'm under-performing, I'm reluctant to work hard, I'm procrastinating job on hand, and I’m not Ke Xin back in uni time.
After a year working in the manufacturing line, I finally realized the fact that it's definitely challenging, dry, and exhausting.
My weakest point is people skill. I know my weakest point and I'm working on it. The point is I can't locate the motivation which drives me to grow and improve myself.
I hate to portray my weakness and my failure, but all the above mentioned made me think twice to stay in manufacturing.

Future:
Has been exploring what I can do for my future? I can't just sit back and dream to marry a rich man. And yeah, marrying rich man has become the biggest dream recently; but there isn't any action plan to make this dream realize though.
I have a dream, a dream that I abandoned due the fact that the dream is not very supportive by my parents; and the fact that the dream is pretty hard to achieve.
However, recent events made me relook at this option and refigure out ways to make this dream true. I'm ready to fly!

15 minutes

If you could spare me 15 minutes each day,
I believe the existing problems aren’t really problems anymore.
If you could bear with me 15 minutes each day,
I think I could feel you love and care better.
If you could talk to me 15 minutes each day,
I can assure that our relationship won’t have to be like now.
I just need 15 minutes, no interruption, no work, no drama, just pure talk.
Wondering whether it’s too demanding to request for 1% of your time every day?

Dear Diary

I feel old, and am trying to act young. The craziest thing I ever did recently is watching vampire series. Vampire stories? So teenage kinda story right? Yes. I'm watching it. And that's because of The Vampire Diaries; I revisit my long abandoned diary and am trying to re-activate it. Though I know this impulsion won't last long.

Maybe I should start writing in mandarin, which I wanted to when I started using blogspot. As it's a language which I can 'goreng' more, makes it looks more deep (as it's currently quite shallow). Well, let's see how.

Things change tremendously ever since X entered my life and left, as years passed, creativity seems to be a stranger to me, as compared to 4/5 years ago. I can say I’m pretty proud of the number of visitors few years back. sadly there isn't any proof cause I made the most correct decision ever to make that blog disappear, so that the current 'he' won't know all those his-stories.

I don’t know what the purpose of the post is, may be just for the sake of posting something. Or it’s just a sign of me re-abandoning my dear diary again. And yes, I need to stop fantasies over vampires and get down to earth.

If only

If only I was more careful, I could have avoided that unpleasant incident.

If only I listened to a sincere friend’s advice, I would not have to spend 300 to 400 bucks.

If only I was not that stubborn, I would not have to blog about “IF ONLY”.

I cannot stop blaming myself, for being ridiculously idiot.

I cannot stop thinking about it, until crying machine starts its engine, and tears flow uncontrollably from those sepet eyes.

I cannot stop mourning over the ‘used to be flawless’ door, until I painted it with those awful scratches.

At that moment, my mind was blank, I was attacked by panic.

The only one I could reach out was him, and he did his part significantly.

Indeed, I was sailing smoothly all the while since I got my driving license.

This is the very time I was in such a situation, where I have to deal with this kind of incident.

Stop crying, face it, deal with it, S!

MT just wanna have fun

Working in Penang, far away from home sweet home is damn tough for a homely girl like me.
Luckily I have the double Vs, who are

• "Highly paid" MT in Kraft
• Not from Penang
• So called young and talented people
• Crazy in some means

We had our first movie outing last night.
Vicky and I wore "uniform" to watch movie, how coincident was that.
And VJ is trying to prove to us that he's the sarcastic king.

When we are hang out, it's none other than crapping, blowing water, criticizing each other, etc.
We watched The Losers instead of the 2 hit movies in the house - Iron Man and IP Man.

The movie was generally entertaining, best for stress release and work-aside moments.
I would rate 3 out of 5 for this.

We all love trainings

Updates: Just attended a workshop about building effectiveness last month, and yet, I still do not have the feeling of myself being more effective before attending the workshop. The workshop was actually based on Stephen Covey's famous book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
There are some stories between me and this book. Back in 10 years when I was still in my high school, the principal actually recommended this book to all the students during assembly. After I graduated from university, I got myself a copy of this book, and just managed to finish the foreword. What a shame! Then, after joining Kraft, I have the chance to get in touch with this book again by joining this workshop.

Training is not just about training, by the way. It's about comfortable hotel stay, buffet breakfast, chilling out with my colleagues, etc. The best part of it is, AWAY FROM OFFICE where people will get an auto generated email stating that I'm away from office and will be back on XXX.

Loving it and Hating it

When you have a crsuh on him ......
It's when you start to feel butterflies flying in your stomach.
It's when you find him so charming no matter what he does.
It's when you try so hard to catch his attention by doing stupid things.

And a crush will sooner or later fade away without us noticing ......
It's when you notice the butterfiles that used to be in the stomach suddenly disappear.
It's when you wonder why was he so attrative when you had that crush on him.
It's when you do not even want to interact with him by any means.

Loving it and hating it ...... It's indeed complicated!

New Year Resolutions

There it goes the last day of 2009

In less than 7 hours, it's the last year of this decade

Here it comes 2010

2010 is definitely a brand NEW start for everything

==> My new job which is going to be extremely challenging

==> A land which I'm not familiar with -- Penang

==> My "on order" new baby -- a new car

==> New handphone -- planning stage

Goals to be achieved for 2010

• Read 10 books in a year (started the first, and it seems ...)
• Read newspaper everyday (started to read local news, will start to read world news soon)
• Spend less time on watching nonsense drama/comedy (sometimes this is the way to stress relieve right?)
• Spend more time with JM and family (definitely!)
• Spend less (will try my best)
• Save more (with the hope to realize my 5 years prject)
• And last but not least ......
• Blog more frequently

I HATE YOU

I hate it when u disagree with me

I hate it when u never pick up my call after we had quarrels

I hate it when u never call me up when I'm mad at u

I hate it when u never know what I'm angry about

I hate it because I really care about it

I hate it because u never know how I feel and u never even care

I HATE YOU

Love Him, Love Him Not

Everything has finally turn out to be boring

It seems to me that the feeling is no longer there

Honestly I don't have faith in myself

I'm looking for some excitement

I'd been thinking a lot these few days after that lunch

That sudden crush dragged me to some place so deep inside

Thank God......

I know that he doesn't know about the existence of this blog

And he never bother to view my FB profile and get to encounter the link

And he never bother to change the status of mine to become "In a Relationship with XXX"

And he never know that this little things would have made a great difference

Expecting too much for a birthday present

I'm supposed to be asleep by this time. Switching off the lights, and chatting through phone on my bed with my warm blanket on. This had been a routine activity, everyday.

Today, as usual I off my lights and called him. After the chat, we ended up quarreling.

Me: Where's my birthday present? My birthday past almost one month already.
Him: I though of want to give you when you move to Penang for work.
Me: Then have you bought one? I thought you would have give me when I went for my second interview.
Him: I did went to search for your present, but the shopping mall was very crowded. I'm shy to walk into those shops like shoe shops to buy you a present. It's very weired for a guy who enter a girl's shop.
Me: That means in your heart, I'm not important and it's not worth it for you to enter a shop to buy me a present.... (crying)
Him: Don't think like that, it's not as what you think....
Me: ...... (Crying)

Every time when we are far apart, if you find me the next morning with swollen eyes, you can be sure that I had a quarrel with my boyfriend. Am I wrong? I'm just hoping to be surprised with a birthday present. Is it too demanding?

It's just complicated. We are not like normal couples. He thinks that Valentine's day is not important, and he said that our anniversary and my birthday (and his birthday) are way too important than V-day. Then, I only received a birthday card on my birthday and he didn't seriously go and search and buy me a birthday present. This is what he meant by my birthday is much more important than the V-day.

Happy belated birthday to poor me.

2009 - Love is in the air

Recently, some of my friends silently get married without notice. Luckily, there's Facebook (gossiping tool), on and off updates me with my friends' good news. First, Chris (Form 6 class monitor), then Boon Kwai (Form 6 bestie's brother), and then Jess (primary school classmate), then Brenda (secondary schoolmate). Last but not least, which is the most shocking one to me, Alvin (my ex-boyfriend). Hoo Hoo .....

OMG! Ex-boyfriend getting married, but luckily I'm taken as well (hahaha). If this happens 3 years ago, I might end up sigh-ing. By browsing through his pages in FB and Friendster, I feel like I kind of lost track with his life - totally. I'm still feeling guilty that I did not drop a message on his birthday this year but he did so on my birthday. I have to congratulate him and it seems to me there are 2 good news - marriage + new born baby.

Despite the recession, we can't omit the power of LOVE. Chris, Boon Kwai (Dr. Goh), Jess, Brenda and Alvin, wishing you guys and your other halves, Happily Ever After !!!

Things will never be the same again

Today is supposed to be a day to be celebrated. JM headed to his first interview and supposingly will be offered the job very soon. And for me, I got a job last week and will start next month. Everything seems and sounds so nice and perfect. In real soon, this couple will start their own career (more appropriately -- WORK) respectively. And in real soon, both of them will be having different work life and environment, in different places...... Distance had always been a problem for them. And for this time, the only difference is the distance between them has 'evolved', whereby both of them will be working in Penang (me) and Melacca (JM). Distance can be overcome by 7 hours plus drive, toll fares, and fuel? Definitely not.

I almost forgot why I chose to apply jobs in Penang and not Ipoh. Ya, I tried to convince myself that there are lesser chances in Ipoh and wanted to change to maybe a new environment. Therefore, I chose Penang and KL. I thought it was fate, where I didn't receive any calls from KL for interview, and the only interview I had was in Penang. I convinced myself AGAIN, that it's FATE that brought me to Penang to start my new stage of life, closer to him. However, God often challenge my faith and perseverance. It started when JM didn't manage to get his MBA application and had to work while trying to apply MBA again. His plan changed 180 degrees, as well as mine.

It's time to THINK very properly how to face the future challenges! I just tidy up topics related to my work and will start studying them soon - chemistry, food analysis, microbiology, Food Act and Regulations. It's kind of back to study life, just that the purpose of study is not meant for examinations anymore. Good news or bad news?