Teach me how to smile

She loves him, therefore she leaves him
He loves her, and so he let her go
They say separation is the will from an individual, and the coordination from two individuals

You used to say I make you smile
Honestly, you make me smile, too
As much as you smile at my smiling
And with you walking away from my life, and taking my smile away with you
I forgot how to smile, teach me how to smile

I thought I'm able to cope, but I failed tremendously
I thought I wouldn't have tears, but just the thought failed me almost instantaneously
I thought the love is not that deep, but the truth is often the toughest pain

Again, teach me how to smile, when the only thing I want to do is to cry

2 become 0

4 years
It comes to an end, but we are still friends.
I love the way it ends, no matter how faith issues came by for past few weeks.
Love is still there, but he has transformed from a lover to a family member.

4 weeks
I told myself to do the right thing, and I did.
But things just went wrong, so wrong; and uncontrollable, so out of control.
I'm in deep guilt and grieve; it was me, all me.

15 minutes

If you could spare me 15 minutes each day,
I believe the existing problems aren’t really problems anymore.
If you could bear with me 15 minutes each day,
I think I could feel you love and care better.
If you could talk to me 15 minutes each day,
I can assure that our relationship won’t have to be like now.
I just need 15 minutes, no interruption, no work, no drama, just pure talk.
Wondering whether it’s too demanding to request for 1% of your time every day?

I HATE YOU

I hate it when u disagree with me

I hate it when u never pick up my call after we had quarrels

I hate it when u never call me up when I'm mad at u

I hate it when u never know what I'm angry about

I hate it because I really care about it

I hate it because u never know how I feel and u never even care

I HATE YOU

Love Him, Love Him Not

Everything has finally turn out to be boring

It seems to me that the feeling is no longer there

Honestly I don't have faith in myself

I'm looking for some excitement

I'd been thinking a lot these few days after that lunch

That sudden crush dragged me to some place so deep inside

Thank God......

I know that he doesn't know about the existence of this blog

And he never bother to view my FB profile and get to encounter the link

And he never bother to change the status of mine to become "In a Relationship with XXX"

And he never know that this little things would have made a great difference

Expecting too much for a birthday present

I'm supposed to be asleep by this time. Switching off the lights, and chatting through phone on my bed with my warm blanket on. This had been a routine activity, everyday.

Today, as usual I off my lights and called him. After the chat, we ended up quarreling.

Me: Where's my birthday present? My birthday past almost one month already.
Him: I though of want to give you when you move to Penang for work.
Me: Then have you bought one? I thought you would have give me when I went for my second interview.
Him: I did went to search for your present, but the shopping mall was very crowded. I'm shy to walk into those shops like shoe shops to buy you a present. It's very weired for a guy who enter a girl's shop.
Me: That means in your heart, I'm not important and it's not worth it for you to enter a shop to buy me a present.... (crying)
Him: Don't think like that, it's not as what you think....
Me: ...... (Crying)

Every time when we are far apart, if you find me the next morning with swollen eyes, you can be sure that I had a quarrel with my boyfriend. Am I wrong? I'm just hoping to be surprised with a birthday present. Is it too demanding?

It's just complicated. We are not like normal couples. He thinks that Valentine's day is not important, and he said that our anniversary and my birthday (and his birthday) are way too important than V-day. Then, I only received a birthday card on my birthday and he didn't seriously go and search and buy me a birthday present. This is what he meant by my birthday is much more important than the V-day.

Happy belated birthday to poor me.

2009 - Love is in the air

Recently, some of my friends silently get married without notice. Luckily, there's Facebook (gossiping tool), on and off updates me with my friends' good news. First, Chris (Form 6 class monitor), then Boon Kwai (Form 6 bestie's brother), and then Jess (primary school classmate), then Brenda (secondary schoolmate). Last but not least, which is the most shocking one to me, Alvin (my ex-boyfriend). Hoo Hoo .....

OMG! Ex-boyfriend getting married, but luckily I'm taken as well (hahaha). If this happens 3 years ago, I might end up sigh-ing. By browsing through his pages in FB and Friendster, I feel like I kind of lost track with his life - totally. I'm still feeling guilty that I did not drop a message on his birthday this year but he did so on my birthday. I have to congratulate him and it seems to me there are 2 good news - marriage + new born baby.

Despite the recession, we can't omit the power of LOVE. Chris, Boon Kwai (Dr. Goh), Jess, Brenda and Alvin, wishing you guys and your other halves, Happily Ever After !!!