Teach me how to smile

She loves him, therefore she leaves him
He loves her, and so he let her go
They say separation is the will from an individual, and the coordination from two individuals

You used to say I make you smile
Honestly, you make me smile, too
As much as you smile at my smiling
And with you walking away from my life, and taking my smile away with you
I forgot how to smile, teach me how to smile

I thought I'm able to cope, but I failed tremendously
I thought I wouldn't have tears, but just the thought failed me almost instantaneously
I thought the love is not that deep, but the truth is often the toughest pain

Again, teach me how to smile, when the only thing I want to do is to cry

2 become 0

4 years
It comes to an end, but we are still friends.
I love the way it ends, no matter how faith issues came by for past few weeks.
Love is still there, but he has transformed from a lover to a family member.

4 weeks
I told myself to do the right thing, and I did.
But things just went wrong, so wrong; and uncontrollable, so out of control.
I'm in deep guilt and grieve; it was me, all me.

Piece of Crap

And yes, Serene Ting never thinks though her family name is ‘think’.

Just a little bit of self confession.
1) I take things too easily.
2) I procrastinate those damn things which do not interest me.
3) I’m lazy when it comes to thinking, i.e. I never use my brain.
4) I’m not a very loyal person, to everyone, everything.
5) I’m not a very responsible person.
6) I cry when I face problems.
7) I can’t handle stress.
8) I’m indecisive, all the time.
9) I have no sense of taste, in terms of everything.
10) I do not like to talk to people.

The great ambition to leave a legacy at my workplace is a total failure? And yes, I did it again! Oops 

Current vs Future

Current:
I'm pretty worry if I make this post overdone, as I'm also afraid to write anything (bad particularly) in this cyberspace, about my employer.
I'm stuck! Seriously. I'm under-performing, I'm reluctant to work hard, I'm procrastinating job on hand, and I’m not Ke Xin back in uni time.
After a year working in the manufacturing line, I finally realized the fact that it's definitely challenging, dry, and exhausting.
My weakest point is people skill. I know my weakest point and I'm working on it. The point is I can't locate the motivation which drives me to grow and improve myself.
I hate to portray my weakness and my failure, but all the above mentioned made me think twice to stay in manufacturing.

Future:
Has been exploring what I can do for my future? I can't just sit back and dream to marry a rich man. And yeah, marrying rich man has become the biggest dream recently; but there isn't any action plan to make this dream realize though.
I have a dream, a dream that I abandoned due the fact that the dream is not very supportive by my parents; and the fact that the dream is pretty hard to achieve.
However, recent events made me relook at this option and refigure out ways to make this dream true. I'm ready to fly!

15 minutes

If you could spare me 15 minutes each day,
I believe the existing problems aren’t really problems anymore.
If you could bear with me 15 minutes each day,
I think I could feel you love and care better.
If you could talk to me 15 minutes each day,
I can assure that our relationship won’t have to be like now.
I just need 15 minutes, no interruption, no work, no drama, just pure talk.
Wondering whether it’s too demanding to request for 1% of your time every day?

Dear Diary

I feel old, and am trying to act young. The craziest thing I ever did recently is watching vampire series. Vampire stories? So teenage kinda story right? Yes. I'm watching it. And that's because of The Vampire Diaries; I revisit my long abandoned diary and am trying to re-activate it. Though I know this impulsion won't last long.

Maybe I should start writing in mandarin, which I wanted to when I started using blogspot. As it's a language which I can 'goreng' more, makes it looks more deep (as it's currently quite shallow). Well, let's see how.

Things change tremendously ever since X entered my life and left, as years passed, creativity seems to be a stranger to me, as compared to 4/5 years ago. I can say I’m pretty proud of the number of visitors few years back. sadly there isn't any proof cause I made the most correct decision ever to make that blog disappear, so that the current 'he' won't know all those his-stories.

I don’t know what the purpose of the post is, may be just for the sake of posting something. Or it’s just a sign of me re-abandoning my dear diary again. And yes, I need to stop fantasies over vampires and get down to earth.

If only

If only I was more careful, I could have avoided that unpleasant incident.

If only I listened to a sincere friend’s advice, I would not have to spend 300 to 400 bucks.

If only I was not that stubborn, I would not have to blog about “IF ONLY”.

I cannot stop blaming myself, for being ridiculously idiot.

I cannot stop thinking about it, until crying machine starts its engine, and tears flow uncontrollably from those sepet eyes.

I cannot stop mourning over the ‘used to be flawless’ door, until I painted it with those awful scratches.

At that moment, my mind was blank, I was attacked by panic.

The only one I could reach out was him, and he did his part significantly.

Indeed, I was sailing smoothly all the while since I got my driving license.

This is the very time I was in such a situation, where I have to deal with this kind of incident.

Stop crying, face it, deal with it, S!

MT just wanna have fun

Working in Penang, far away from home sweet home is damn tough for a homely girl like me.
Luckily I have the double Vs, who are

• "Highly paid" MT in Kraft
• Not from Penang
• So called young and talented people
• Crazy in some means

We had our first movie outing last night.
Vicky and I wore "uniform" to watch movie, how coincident was that.
And VJ is trying to prove to us that he's the sarcastic king.

When we are hang out, it's none other than crapping, blowing water, criticizing each other, etc.
We watched The Losers instead of the 2 hit movies in the house - Iron Man and IP Man.

The movie was generally entertaining, best for stress release and work-aside moments.
I would rate 3 out of 5 for this.

We all love trainings

Updates: Just attended a workshop about building effectiveness last month, and yet, I still do not have the feeling of myself being more effective before attending the workshop. The workshop was actually based on Stephen Covey's famous book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
There are some stories between me and this book. Back in 10 years when I was still in my high school, the principal actually recommended this book to all the students during assembly. After I graduated from university, I got myself a copy of this book, and just managed to finish the foreword. What a shame! Then, after joining Kraft, I have the chance to get in touch with this book again by joining this workshop.

Training is not just about training, by the way. It's about comfortable hotel stay, buffet breakfast, chilling out with my colleagues, etc. The best part of it is, AWAY FROM OFFICE where people will get an auto generated email stating that I'm away from office and will be back on XXX.

Loving it and Hating it

When you have a crsuh on him ......
It's when you start to feel butterflies flying in your stomach.
It's when you find him so charming no matter what he does.
It's when you try so hard to catch his attention by doing stupid things.

And a crush will sooner or later fade away without us noticing ......
It's when you notice the butterfiles that used to be in the stomach suddenly disappear.
It's when you wonder why was he so attrative when you had that crush on him.
It's when you do not even want to interact with him by any means.

Loving it and hating it ...... It's indeed complicated!